Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Lovers

February Special!  
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The Lovers card represents choices. A decision is to be made around romantic relationships and/or friendships. Sometimes in a career reading, for example, it can represent a more general life choice, but it always evokes us to ask what -or who- we truly love. It is a card representing duality; the yin and yang of a situation; masculinity and femininity. If reversed, it is harder for the querent to even see the options they have. (When paired with the seven of cups, there are too many options.) 

The reaction of people I read for when they pull The Lovers card is a testament to its power. People always think that if the card is present, it must be true love, or they will meet their person and live happily ever after. It's a tad more complicated... When pulling The Lovers card it's important to check out the cards surrounding it and remember that it doesn't represent the feeling of love, rather a decision concerning the concept of love. Cups cards speak more to the feelings of love and compassion. When using tarot cards in meditation or on your alter, I like using the Two of Cups card or the Queen of Cups card to conjure more love in my life. 

The Lovers card reversed can also symbolize a lack of communication within a relationship. The love that the querent has for the person may be strong in feeling, but is extremely clouded by other factors. Paired with the Eight of Swords or The Devil card, it can alert the querent to potentially harmful entanglements in a relationship. Some relationships, in other words, just are not good for us and our health. The tree card below depicts the entanglement idea nicely.

Sometimes The Lovers card can literally mean that the querent has to choose one of two loves. (Kind of like that Ani Difranco song School Night). The Lovers card also reminds me of the Robert Frost Poem, The Road Not Taken. Especially paired with The Emperor or The Hierophant, it reminds us to ignore societal conventions and familial expectations for our relationships and happy endings. It reminds us to make the choice that is less conventional, because life is not about happy endings or pleasing others or having a date for Valentine's Day, it's about our personal journey and how who we will become in relationships with other people. Sometimes this means that we must try a relationship, even when important people in our lives tell us we shouldn't. Watch for The Moon card (listening to your instincts) when this happens...

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Love or Lust? 
Sometimes I have difficulty telling the difference between the two. When The Lovers card is paired with the Two of cups card and The Moon card, the querent is in love. But I think many of us often confuse love and infatuation. I think love is a feeling and needs time to grow and solidify. Lust is more about physical attraction, and infatuation is the hope for that person new relationship to last. I think it's important to distinguish between the three... When The Lovers card is paired with a King or Queen of Wands, perhaps it's just really, really good sex. Throw an Ace card in there, in a future position, and you may meet one of your soul mates! (I believe we have multiple soul mates.) Throw The Fool card or a Page card in the mix and watch out for immaturity and drama.